Will wonders never cease

Another year another blog. I have to say that I find the majority of bloggers in the bloggersphere very tiring. Few people stick to a theme and just write drivel that is important to themselves and no one else. My sister blogs for the spiritual betterment of the general population and spends lots of time researching uplifting meaningful topics that have the potential to change the world...if any one would just listen. I am surrounded by writers that have so many important messages and insights that my insignificant meanderings pale by comparison. My own wife, a writer extraordinaire, who is filled with stories that would take several novels to express will end up editing this minor, insignificant piece of work because she has no time to to write, life gets in the way.
I appreciate the commitment that many professional writers exibit and blogging is one outlet and I wonder if maybe the cavefish is just a bit out of his element. Blogging is very popular and everyone and their uncle are producing pages and pages of drivel that few people will read...but damn it, I just reread some of my stuff and I like it and it's free for me so if you find something relevant then fantastic, if you find it boring...move on, many more interesting blogs on the bloggosphere.
By the way, if you wanted me to stick to my theme...Opening weekend 2012, smoother than last year, beat my record and opened in like two hours and narry a leaky pipe. Now the next challenge, how to get the kids to want to come with us when they have invites to sleep overs and birthday parties and soccer games and their own little lives that don't include NOS...Already I am losing that battle...Weekends missed NOS...3! and the season has not officially started.

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Resurection of the NorthernCavefish

So it's been a couple of years and the cavefish has decided to write again. Can't say if I will around for long or if there will be another entry, but lets enjoy it while I can. So lets see, 2 years and a lot of life going on around me. I can say that I am now what I would call NOS, and soon to be double NOS. Cottaging North of Seven and low and behold...living North Of Seven thanks to my DW who is dragging me up to Brookin. My perception of the northern redneck has been seriously altered over the past little while, not everyone up here drives pickup trucks held together with duct tape and sporting gun racks in the back window. It now seems that the typical Northern lakeside "resident" drives a $70k SUV (90k if you include the gas) and has a 6 bedroom, 3 bath, granite counter tops, 3D led TV/Satellite/internet, double slip boathouse/bunkie, paved driveway, tennis court, wakeboard boat, pontoon etc.  Ok, did I just describe my wish list?
Alright then, back to my little hovel on the island that is my little piece of heaven where where duct tape and WD40 still hold a place of honour.

"The Appleton Estates"

Flash to opening weekend 2011...Within 2 hrs, Water was turned on, Docks put in, boat was started and launched for the inaugural lap around the island. Contrast this with just a few years ago when I could not tell you what a slip coupling was and opening weekend was more like opening weekendS fraught with broken docks, leaky pipes and motors that wont start. Back in the old days I would need to bribe my best friend with beer, steaks and the promise of a relaxing weekend  (once the opening is complete of course) to help prepare everything for the summer. This year it was just me as my friend conveniently ripped his ACL skiing, oh sure just when I'm ready to move...thanks a lot. In any case this was the most successful opening weekend i have had to date and i am now ready for the summer...bring on the sunshine. This years goal...Slalome skiing behind Laughing Waters II.

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Can a Cavefish hold a hammer?

So in keeping with my theme, I will continue the progression from mere fscavefish to the much more adept, confident, (sore) Northern cavefish.

So what happens when a computer geek (AKA fscavefish) gets a cottage and something goes wrong? Well a couple things can happen, panic, cry, curl up in ball and hope and pray that the plumbing leak you just discovered magically disappears, or you do what any self respecting geek would do...jump on the Internet.

So google becomes the main cottage tool and we look up "plumbing thingy doing a weird thing it never did before" Result: New Zealand - Plumber, last question after NZIS interview

Well that doesn't help...Hmmmm...lets break this down a bit (is that water around my feet good for the laptop?) anyway, Google: Plumbing, Result: ahhh now we are getting somewhere, that thingy is called a pipe and it has a leak...oh turn the water off...got it.

Ok, after googling water, cottage, plumbing, pipe, pump, pressure tank, solder, what is solder, how do you solder, torch, location of nearest fire department and hospital now I am ready to call someone to fix my plumbing problem.

You want how much to come out to the island on a weekend to look at my problem? You sir, are Cracked, that's more than the place is worth!!!
Plan B: Back to the internet, Thank god for Cottagelife. A bunch of people NOS who are also online, I am now in geek Heaven. If they can do it so can I.

Dive right in (no pun intended), assess the situation...hey that piece is broken, ok we need a new one, I saw something similar in the shed the other day, hey...there it is. Now I need a torch, low and behold, there's one in the shed (I love this shed) So remembering the days of electronic engineering a billion years ago when I learned to solder tiny electronic components, how much different could this be...Whoa that's a big flame!!!

two hours later, a very black wall, a scary looking mess of metal, solder, odd bits of pipe and a few burns its time to go back to the net.

PRESSURE FITTINGS, YES YES YES, no soldering just what I need, Honey I'm off to home hardware. Hmmm, real people...try to sound intelligent..."ummm I need a pressure fitting to fix my plumbing". Sure what do you need 3/4, 1/2 inch, copper, PCV, ABS, check valve, slip coupling, male, female...
"ahhhh, my plumbing thingy is leaking, I can't solder, I need it fixed"

Now who's the silly looking one NOS. I have to say there are some fantastic people North of Seven, really patient and very knowledgeable about everything to do with a cottage. After walking out with bags of stuff I can't remember the name of and a new wealth of knowledge I am ready.

Soldering plumbing=Clean, Clean, Clean and dry, Pressure fitting are better, no soldering. So I am now a plumber, Hahaha, time to post that on the cottagelife forum (i'm still a geek).

Once you pop that cherry there is no going back...those ugly lights in the ceiling, down. The ugly door in the kitchen, replaced. The broken dock, fixed. The unusable outhouse, rebuilt. Hardwood floors, no problem.

Now the best tool at the cottage is me (hey that didn't sound right).

By the way, thank god for helpful neighbors because the one thing you can't get from the internet is hands on experience.

Next time...Pictures.

Bye for now.

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The Progression of a Northern Cavefish

So here I am filling the time between work and sleep (times 5) before I can really break loose and head out to NOS country.

For those of you geographically challenged, Foreign or just plain too lazy to re-read my first blog, NOS is any place north of Hwy number 7 in Ontario, Canada. That, by the way, covers a very large area full of interesting individuals that hunt, fish, don't bathe, and generally defy all laws of common sense when doing just about anything. Someone NOS can fix anything with 2 items, Duct Tape and WD40. If its stuck use WD40, if it won't stick together, use Duct Tape....But that I recon' is a whole 'nother Blog Y'all.

So Back to the progression...by the way you will notice that get scattered quite often and will flip back and forth until you get dizzy or annoyed or both but I really am trying to stick to my topic, honest...But that is a whole 'nother Blog...I gotta stop saying that.

Picture time, I know I promised you and I won't disappoint. Without further adieu let me present the original, one and only FSCavefish (that would FutureShop cavefish for those that like to know acronyms...yes I mean you Mr. and Mrs. computer geek). This is the predecessor to the Northern cavefish before the transformation.

FSCavefish gets a taste of life outside of his cave and decides that the outdoors are where he belongs. Having meager possessions, cash, motivation and direction this becomes his weekend getaways: Sibbald Point by Bicycle, one hour by car, 9 by bicycle (what the hell were we thinking)

Ahh but the FSCavefish actually does have motivation (you try 9 hours on Bicycle) and endeavours to travel a little further a field with a much faster bike, so now we graduate: Balsam Lake

Remember a FSCavefish needs to eat and drink: Dinner, Meow Mix (could be corned beef from tin, shhhlllooop! or flakes of whatever meat is on sale with Mr. Noodles. Good, nutritious, wholesome artey clogging, easy to make dinner...sorry Charley, FSCavefish is not a cannibal at this point in time). Balsam Lake:

Drink of choice...none other than the king of lawnmower beers, Tallship extrodinaire...EX...it says it all (pay no attention to the funnel hanging on the side of the table, its just decoration, honest). After a case of that I'd be saying it all as well, usually to my good buddy ralph. This is Sherwood forest (never did meet Robin hood), Picton...not quite North of Seven but must be a breeding ground for NOS folk as they need a working cash register to make change of 95 cents from a dollar. Want to sit in on the exchange? sure you do:

Sherwood storekeep:That will be 95 cents

Me: Here's a dollar

Sherwood Storekeep (at the cash register): arite let me see, I push this button, Dang! Hey Ma, how do you work this goll durn thing, Hey Ma!!!

Me: You know what, keep the Nickel...

Sherwood Storekeep: Naw, I got put this in so I can figer your change...Hey Ma, get out here!

FSCavefish does sleep and is able to carry his home with him: Red Pine lake, home of killer attack chipmunks and raw bacon eating turtles. Once on the point, once on the island of Rock (try to peg a tent down on rock, I dare you)...leave the heavy stuff in fly away dome tents...ask me how I know...

Side note time: did you know that cavefish are extremely light and jump off skinny branches? look closely at the left foot: Somewhere NOS not sure where but there was water.

So now its time to sleep...tune in next time for the inspiration to change into, dant dant dant daaaa....The Northern Cavefish.

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So What exactly is a blog?

"A blog (a contraction of the term "Web log") is a Web site, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions ..."

Ok so I have a problem with this description and it is the word REGULAR. This could take a lot of work...hmmm, rethink the blog? nah, lets give it a go till I get bored.

Actually this started out as a photo journal but all searches for a good photo journal template seemed to come back to the same silly blog format so here I am blogging away.

It all started in the spring of 2006. The DW (Dear Wife) of the cavefish (Yes, Cavefish can marry!) was finally convinced that we could afford to buy a lifestyle in NOS country. More importantly she was convinced that we could NOT afford to miss the opportunity, so there in lies the seeds of great adventure (read: many years of financial hardship).

Long story short (sort of), a few rainy trips, very patient Realtors, a Pontoon boat, many more drivebys and one crazy mortgage advisor and low and behold a weekend repository for lifetime of memories.

I have to divert at this point and go back about three years before this, so like 2003 or something, when Rug Rat number one was only a couple years old.
Cavefish can be very crafty...see your goal and set about achieving it slowly over time so it can sneak up and take hold. Case in point is this exchange between Cavefish and DW...
Me: since we are looking for a cottage we should get a boat.
DW: We can't afford a boat, we are looking for a cottage.
Me: What is the most important feature of the cottage for you?
DW: Waterfront
Me: **DING** If we had a boat we could see the waterfront better and probably see more cottages.
DW: Wow you are the smartest person in the world lets get the best boat ever (ok, i took a little literary licence on that).

So we got a boat (Goal number one accomplished).
Saw many, many, many scary places, which was our price range (scary). None of them seemed to have that special something...beach, privacy, roof, floor, land, too many trees, not enough trees, to close to the water, not close enough to the water, too low, too high, you get the idea.

***one more sidebar: if you marry a type A, Scorpio wannabe on steroids be prepared to over analyze any decision that has to made, it also helps if you are a real Scorpio and stubborn as all get out.***

Wow, are you allowed to give a complete history accounting in a blog? can you Blog the past? Guess what, I just did hahaha.

Ok Back on track, Fast forward a bit through many scary places, depression that we can't afford NOS, Rat number 2, many pleasant boating weekends losing trailer tires, almost sinking because someone forgot the Bung plug, breaking down on the water the furthest distance from the truck, many expensive repair bills, lots of camping, lots of rain drenched tents, new house and new realization that we need a cottage badly because we're sick of dragging this bloody boat out over hells half acre weekend after weekend.

Remember the goal and watch the timing. Our price range is now a little higher but the places we can afford are even scarier, thank you waterfront appreciation. At this point Mrs. Lake Rousseau is now a little more receptive to something a little more realistic...like say an Island...hmmm.
A friend with a cottage is a great resource "Hey there's a place for sale on our lake come take a look"...
Wow nice place, great beach, needs some work, how much? that's cracked, no way, where does he think this is Muskoka?
Enter the crazy Mortgage advisor. BTW this is conversation before meeting with her:
DW: We can't afford it, our current mortgage is locked in for 4 years we can't change it.
Me: they want to make money and will give us more so we can pay more interest
DW: No, we are locked in
Me: it does not hurt to ask
DW: It won't do any good
Crazy Mortgage advisor: Sure we can lend you more money we will renegotiate your current mortgage and give you some expensive line of credit that you have no hope of paying off in your life time and charge you an exorbitant amount of interest for the privilege of being our customer. ***insert evil laugh here***
DW: really, cool, wow cavefish you are the smartest ever!

Goal number 2 accomplished and actually 3 because now we had the money and the location but the price was still cracked. This is where type A Scorpio wannabe's on steroids come in very handy.
Research the crap out of the lake and take every cottage that has ever been sold for the past 50 years and graph it and add it to a spreadsheet and factor in appreciation, depreciation, any flaw, blemish, location of the sun at 2pm, 4 pm, 6pm, the neighbours dock and the sun there at those times and let the seller know that his price is so far out of whack that he should be paying us to take the place.
So after closing the deal, getting a place NOS and getting a job offer as a real estate agent the cavefish clan breaks out and becomes the weekend NOS family.

So now can I blog the present? I suppose I should but during the week I am really boring...work, work, work...Its not like I am a member of a book club with all kinds of drama and fighting and bickering and kicking out helpless members. I just sit in my cave and blog...hmm...a blog about blogging, shoot me now.

Ok, so tomorrow we blog about the recent past...I promise, maybe, but there will be pictures.

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The Northern Cavefish

Have you ever wondered what a cavefish is? Do you know what they look like? Where they live? Where they play?

I can now dispel some of those nagging mysteries, I do not look like this:

Or this:

Although the Full Throttle Cavefish have really cool bikes.

So I guess I need to start with an Introduction...I am a Northern cavefish. One who was once locked in a basement but now finds a liberating freedom in NOS country (north of Seven). Every weekend possible I load the transport wagon with all the essentials of survival in that most harsh environment of rest, relaxation, work and play. Usually 2 days, where as one cartoon character so eloquently puts it, "The days are just packed".

Location: Kasshabog lake

Habitat:

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